Cailyn and Gillian Cailyn and Gillian

Feeling shame or pain in your sex life? How to become erotically empowered, deepen intimacy, and ask for the pleasure you want, with somatic sex educator darshana avila

Apple Podcasts

Do you ever struggle with shame, pain, numbness, or disconnection in your sex life?

So many of us have done inner child work, attachment work, and therapy for our mental health — but we’ve never applied that same lens to our sexuality. Cultural conditioning, religious messaging, porn, performance pressure, trauma, and body shame all shape how safe (or unsafe) we feel in intimacy. And often, it’s our sexual selves that become fragmented.

In this episode, I’m joined by trauma-informed somatic sex educator and Erotic Wholeness coach Darshana Avila (featured on Goop’s podcast and TV show) to explore how to heal sexual shame, navigating painful sex, ways to deepen intimacy, and confidently asking for the pleasure you actually want. Darshana has dedicated her career to helping people tune in to their truth, desires, and authentic relationships. Her work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & goop, and she’s spent over a decade guiding people out of the cultural patterns that keep them stuck.

This conversation explores sex and the erotic not as performance, but as attunement, embodiment, and healing.

Tune in to hear:

  • What Erotic Wholeness actually means

  • How trauma and upbringing impact desire and shutdown

  • Why so many women experience painful sex — and what might be happening physiologically and emotionally

  • Why orgasms can feel difficult or inconsistent

  • How to feel more confident and comfortable in your body

  • How to give feedback in bed without shame or conflict

  • What to do when you “don’t even know what you like”

  • How to slow down, build anticipation, and deepen attunement

  • Why presence and nervous system regulation are key to better sex

Follow Darshana on her website and Instagram.

For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network.

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The Best Relationship Advice From 3 Top Love & Repair Experts (Attachment Styles, Communication Hacks, And Reconnecting After Conflict)

Apple Podcasts

Hi lovers, it’s officially love month, and leading into Valentine’s Day, we’re revisiting some of the most powerful relationship advice we’ve heard on the podcast, from 3 of the internet’s top couples therapists and relationship experts.

Whether you’re single or in a long-term relationship, this episode is for you if you’re grappling with an anxious or avoidant attachment, fear around intimacy/relationships, or learning how to regulate and rebuild during conflict.

Thankfully, I’ve had the privilege of talking with the best when it comes to navigating love and partnership, which has helped me immeasurably in building the foundation of my own relationship. 

So today, I’m bringing you a roundup of the top advice from:

❤️ Baya Voce, MSW, Relationship Repair Expert (Supervised by Esther Perez): The art of repair, and how to maintain love and connection through conflict. Baya’s 4-step relationship repair framework, why curiosity is the antidote to defensiveness, and how to stay regulated during conflict. (Listen to our full episode here.)

❤️ Trevor Hanson, Marriage & Family Therapist, Founder of The Art of Healing: Why fear is the #1 killer of relationships and how to communicate through it. Plus, how to navigate common communication “landmines” and how anxious & avoidant partners can build safe emotional intimacy. (Listen to our full episode here.)

❤️ Jess Baum, Psychotherapist, Couples Counselor, & Author of Anxiously Attached: How our attachment styles are amplified or healed based on your relationship, breaking our anxious attachment patterns and prioritizing consistent love, recognizing red and green flags in chemistry, and moving from codependency to interdependence. (Listen to our full episode here.)

Wherever you are in your relationship journey, know that you are loved!

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Everyone Wants A Village, But Nobody Wants To Be A Villager...

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

A friend said something to me a few months ago (while I was complaining) that stopped me in my tracks: “Everyone wants a village — but nobody wants to be a villager.”

And once I heard it, I couldn’t un-know it. So many of us (AKA, me!) say we want deeper friendships, stronger community, people who show up for us… yet we’re participating in a culture that prioritizes convenience, hyper-independence, comfort, and productivity over closeness. We’ve optimized ourselves out of connection. We interact with services, not people. We protect our peace so hard, we don’t even consider the needs of others. We complain about loneliness and how hard it is to make friends as adults, but most people opt out of the effort and inconvenience that comes with community and togetherness.

So today, we’re unpacking the loneliness epidemic, the friendship recession, and what modern society is getting wrong about community-building. Most importantly, we cover how to actually be a villager, even when you’re busy, burnt out, uncomfortable, or socially awkward.

We weren’t meant to do life alone. And the village you’re looking for might start with you.

If you’ve been craving deeper friendships, more support and belonging, and being a part of something bigger than yourself, this episode is your reminder that community is built through effort, presence, generosity, and a willingness to be inconvenienced for the sake of care and connection.

Tune in to hear:

  • What it really means to “be a villager” (and why closeness comes at a cost)

  • The role convenience culture plays in loneliness and isolation

  • The mental and physical health benefits of strong social ties

  • Why self-care is overrated, because healing isn’t a solo sport

  • How to start building your village through consistent micro-connections

  • Reciprocity, generosity, and why community is about equity, not equality

  • Saying yes more, and becoming a supportive attendee

  • How to avoid social burnout and people-pleasing

  • How to show up as a village leader (the art of hosting and building what doesn’t exist)

  • Taking social risks and dealing with rejection

  • Letting yourself show up imperfectly — messy house, bad mood, and all

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35 Life Lessons I’ve Learned At 35 (Wisdom On Life, Love, Career & Self-Growth That I Wish I Knew Earlier)

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

I just celebrated my 35th birthday, and this year, instead of fearing aging or buying into the narrative that getting older is something to dread, I decided to approach this milestone with gratitude, reflection, and intention.

Aging is a privilege denied to many, and at 35, I can honestly say: I’ve never felt more like myself, and I wouldn’t want to go back to who I was at 25.

In this deeply personal and reflective episode, I’m sharing the 35 most life-changing lessons I’ve amassed about everything from confidence, mental health, and communication, to boundaries, purpose, willpower, and courage. Many of these insights were hard-earned over the last decade, and all of them have been shaped by the time I’ve spent hosting this podcast.

This episode is for anyone navigating their 30s, questioning their timeline, rebuilding self-trust, and learning how to live with more intention and alignment instead of fear.

Tune in to hear lessons including:

  • Why motivation is a myth and systems matter more than discipline

  • How confidence is built by keeping promises to yourself

  • The importance of finding your career North Star

  • An antidote to anxiety, and why communication requires emotional regulation

  • Why community and relationships are essential to healing

  • Using boundaries properly, ending people-pleasing, and learning to say yes and no with clarity

  • The health and wellness changes that moved the needle for me

  • Redefining success and how I use my time and money

  • Courage over comfort… and why fear doesn’t have to disappear

  • Changing paths, changing your mind, and embracing life in chapters

  • Why you are NOT behind in life (there is no correct timeline!)

If any of these lessons resonate with you, I’d love to hear which one hit hardest. Comment what you connected with below, or share this episode with someone who’s navigating a similar season of life.

Thank you for being here, and for the continued gift of getting to grow up with the Teach Me How To Adult community throughout my 30s. I love you, and you’ve got this!

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How to Design Your Life Using Stanford’s Odyssey Plan (Goal-Setting That Actually Works) | The Quickie

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

If traditional goal-setting feels exhausting, rigid, and not your jam, this episode will help you reimagine how you plan your life in 2026.

We’re diving into The Odyssey Plan, a powerful life design and goal-setting framework developed at Stanford University as part of the Designing Your Life curriculum by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans.

It’s the ideal method for anyone who feels burnt out by traditional goal-setting, overwhelmed by decisions, or scared of choosing the “wrong” path.

Instead of forcing yourself into one narrow future, the Odyssey Plan helps you imagine multiple possible lives, reduce fear-based decision-making, and set goals that actually align with your values, energy, and curiosity — not just productivity or external pressure.

Tune in for a creative and science-backed way to reset and design goals you can actually stick to.

Listen in for:

  • Using Stanford Life Design principles to set meaningful goals without burnout

  • Create three different life paths instead of committing to one rigid plan

  • Set intentions for 2026 that feel exciting, flexible, and realistic

  • Reduce fear of “making the wrong choice” and embrace curiosity-driven planning

  • Prototype and test future goals before fully committing

  • Turn long-term life vision into actionable goals you can start this year

Download the Odyssey Plan template. 

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If You Hate Small Talk, You Need These Conversation-Starters For The Holidays (The 12 Questions That Will Make People Love Talking To You) | The Quickie

Apple Podcasts

Between the holiday parties, family dinners, office events, and end-of-year gatherings... the holiday season can be a lot. (Even for extroverts like me.) 

If you’ve ever felt socially drained, awkward, anxious, or stuck in mind-numbing small talk during the holidays, I gotchu. This episode will hook you up with powerful conversation starters and questions you can keep in your back pocket to help you navigate social situations with confidence, steer conversations away from awkward topics and political landmines, and actually feel connected to the people around you.

Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, cutting back from relying on drinking at parties, or just tired of endless small talk, learning how to ask better questions is one of the most underrated communication skills you can have.

Research shows that the best communicators ask up to 20 times more questions than the average person... and that people consistently underestimate how much others crave meaningful conversation. So don't worry about making it weird... thoughtful questions aren't awkward, they're impactful. 

✨Tune in to hear about:

  • The most interesting and fun conversation starters 

  • Why asking good questions releases oxytocin and builds closeness

  • Questions to avoid small talk, create real connection, and bond the room

  • Reflection questions to spark meaningful year-end conversations

  • Forward-looking questions for intentions, growth, and the new year

  • How to redirect uncomfortable topics with boundaries and grace

  • Why curiosity is the ultimate hack for social confidence and overcoming social anxiety

For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network.

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Rethinking Drinking? The Alcohol-Free Shift That Rewires Your Confidence, Dating, Mental Health & Social Life, with Amanda Kuda

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Sober-curious? You don’t need a “drinking problem” for alcohol to quietly hold you back and sabotage your potential.

I’ve come a long way from my party days, and it’s clear to me now how much self-abandonment, anxiety, and numbness I was employing to uphold the drinking culture around me. Since l’ve switched to a limited drinking lifestyle, I’ve never felt more myself.

In this episode, we’re joined by Amanda Kuda, alcohol-free life coach, speaker, and author of Unbottled Potential: Break Up With Alcohol and Break Through to Your Best Life. Amanda teaches a modern, empowering approach to personal development and self-actualization through the lens of elective sobriety—no rock bottom necessary.

Whether you’re looking to cut back, reassess your relationship with drinking, or explore what an alcohol-free lifestyle could do for your energy, confidence, dating life, and emotional wellbeing, this conversation is packed with vulnerability and insight.

We cover the psychology, emotional triggers, and identity shifts behind mindful drinking, and tools to live alcohol-free without relying on unreliable willpower.

Tune in to hear:

  • Amanda’s story of becoming alcohol-free without being an alcoholic

  • Moderators vs. Abstainers: Which archetype are you?

  • How alcohol impacts your energy, intuition & personal growth

  • Why even “light” drinking affects confidence, emotional regulation, creativity, hobbies, and connection

  • How alcohol gets in the way of real connection

  • Dating without alcohol: Building confidence without liquid courage

  • What we’re trying to numb when we drink

  • Why willpower isn’t enough—and what actually works

  • The need for nervous system regulation, habit replacement, and a realistic timeline

  • How to start your alcohol-free journey in a way that sticks

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End-of-Year Reset: Prompts & Audits To Reflect, Reset And Plan Your Best Year Yet

Apple Podcasts

If you want to start 2026 off strong, it's all about ending 2025 with intention. We’re rapidly approaching the end of the year (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?), and I have a rigorous reflection process for tracking the highs, lows, and lessons of the last 12 months.

You need to understand where you’ve been to plan where you’re going, so in today’s episode, we’re breaking down how to do a powerful year-end audit, reflect on your biggest lessons, and “soft launch” your New Year goals so you have real momentum heading into 2026. I’m walking you through my full reflection process, including the journaling prompts, assessments, goal-setting exercises, and year-in-review questions I use to evaluate what worked this year… and what absolutely did not.

This episode is for anyone craving clarity, direction, and a more aligned year ahead.

You’ll learn how to map your biggest wins, your patterns, your energy drains, and your most valuable lessons, and then turn all of that insight into actionable goals you can start testing before January 1st.

As a bonus, I created a free Year-End Audit & Goal-Setting Guide, which you can download here to accompany this episode!

Tune in to hear more about:

  • Leveraging the holiday slowdown to get ahead and test-drive new goals/habits

  • Why we should give our new goals a trial run before January starts

  • The journaling prompts I use to reflect on the year’s biggest lessons and takeaways

  • Measuring your satisfaction using the Life Balance Wheel

  • A game-changing exercise for auditing your time and how you spent your energy this year

  • Honing in on areas for improvement, and setting SMART goals for each category

  • The power of a guiding quote or mantra

Everything we cover in today’s episode is available to download in our free year-end audit, get your guide today and get a head start on your new year planning. You’ve got this.

Resources mentioned:

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Overcome The #1 Issue In Relationships To Build Secure Attachment And Confidence In Love, with Trevor Hanson

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Struggling with relationship anxiety and fear of intimacy or rejection? This episode will guide you through anxious and avoidant attachment patterns, to the core healing that can help us find confidence and security in relationships.

I’m joined by Trevor Hanson, a marriage and family therapist who has helped thousands of individuals and couples heal attachment wounds and build secure, connected, confident relationships. His work has been featured by the Gottman Institute, and he’s the founder of The Art of Healing, where he teaches frameworks for transforming insecurity into emotional safety.

We break down the real reasons we often feel insecure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful in relationships… and how to finally feel secure, grounded, and confident in love. You’ll learn the tools, communication shifts, and emotional skills that create safe + connected relationships.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How to build real confidence in relationships (and the cost of not working on your confidence)

  • Why insecurity, fear, and jealousy appear — even in good relationships

  • Practical tools for anxious attachment self-soothing

  • Why fear is the #1 killer of relationships and how to move through it

  • How avoidant partners can build emotional intimacy without feeling overwhelmed

  • Fear-based motivation vs love-based motivation

  • How to navigate communication “landmines’

  • How to support a partner who feels fear or anxiety in the relationship

  • The TEMPO framework and how it interrupts anxious spirals

Follow Trevor on Instagram.
Trevor's website: https://theartofhealingbytrevor.com.

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We Don’t Have Hobbies Anymore… And It’s Making Us Depressed & Bored. Here's How To Start A New Hobby

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Somewhere along the way, we stopped having hobbies… and honestly, it’s making us depressed. Between burnout, money-making, doom-scrolling, and constantly trying to be “productive,” most people don’t do anything just for joy anymore. We’re disconnected from ourselves, our creativity, and from each other.

It’s time to rekindle our sense of play and curiosity. So in today’s episode, we’re breaking down why hobbies are essential for your happiness, confidence, and emotional well-being, and how finding a hobby you love can reduce loneliness, boost your mood, increase creativity, and bring FUN back into your life. Because your whole personality shouldn’t be work and TikTok.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, bored, or stuck in autopilot, tune in to learn how hobbies can help energize you and break up the monotony of adulthood.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why adults have lost the joy of hobbies 
• The science: how hobbies act as a natural antidepressant and reduce anxiety, burnout & loneliness
• Why hobbies boost self-esteem and confidence
• The link between popular hobbies and nervous system regulation
• Why “wasting time” is actually good for your brain
• How to choose a hobby based on what you loved as a kid
• The ultimate list of hobbies for every style of activity
• The difference between Type 1 fun vs. Type 2 fun
• How hobbies help you connect with friends & build community

Hobby Ideas Mentioned in This Episode:

  • Tennis, pickleball, hiking, gardening, rock climbing, weightlifting, walking clubs, horseback riding, volunteering with animals.

  • Pottery, calligraphy, painting/drawing, photography, crocheting, collaging, baking, singing and choirs, learning an instrument.

  • Cold plunging, meditation, yoga, reading + book clubs, puzzles, Mahjong, chess, learning a new language, deep-diving a niche interest for fun.

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8 Steps To Be A Better Listener: The Communication Skills That Will Improve Every Relationship

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Good listening is an underrated superpower… it makes you more magnetic, trustworthy, liked, and connected.

Most people think they’re good listeners — but the truth is, a lot of us are just out here waiting for our turn to talk. So in today’s episode, we’re breaking down 8 key steps to become a better listener, so you can improve your communication skills, strengthen your relationships, and make people actually feel heard.

It’s like that Maya Angelou quote: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And a huge part of how we make people feel is based on how we listen to them.

Want to transform the way you connect? Learn how to master active listening, build trust, lead with curiosity, and become the person everyone feels safe opening up to.

Tune in to hear more about:

  • How to master active listening and emotional attunement

  • The #1 thing people actually mean when they say they “don’t feel heard”

  • Why deep listening makes you more attractive, trustworthy, and influential

  • How to listen with sincerity instead of “performing” empathy

  • Removing distractions and meeting people where they are in a convo

  • The art of a good follow-up

  • Why questions and curiosity are the key to deeper connection

  • Nonverbal cues to show that you’re listening

  • Eye contact 101

  • Why nonverbal cues can be challenging for neurodivergent people

  • The surprising way of interacting that makes people open up more

Whether you want to communicate better at work, deepen intimacy with your partner, or just sharpen your conversational skills, I hope this helps you unlock the gift of deep listening.

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Sexual Compatibility, Low Libido, and Orgasms 101: How To Reignite Desire And Have Sex You’re Excited About, with TikTok’s #1 Sex Educator Dr. Tara

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Too tired or busy for sex? You’re not alone. Today’s expert explains why it’s not about libido — and how to rebuild desire, compatibility, and orgasmic intimacy in bed again.

If you’re wondering why you don’t orgasm more, or if you and your partner are actually sexually compatible, you’re in for a juicy and legitimately helpful deep dive with TikTok’s #1 sex educator, Dr. Tara.

Dr. Tara is a certified sexologist, award-winning researcher, tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, TV host, radio host, a coach and the Internet’s Resident Sex Expert. She’s the host of Luvbites Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration, and she just released her new book, How Do You Like It? A Guide for Getting What You Want (in Bed).

In this episode, we talk about why your sex life might feel “off” (hint: it’s not just about libido), how to stay present during intimacy, and the science behind different types of orgasms — plus Dr. Tara’s practical advice for rebuilding desire and navigating the performance anxiety and everyday stress that can get in the way of sex.

Tune in to learn about:

✅ How to figure out your “Sexual Profile” and what it reveals about compatibility
✅ What to do when your libido or sex drive doesn’t match your partner’s
✅ How stress, hormones, and mental health impact desire
✅ Ways to initiate intimacy when you’re both exhausted
✅ How to stay present during sex and overcome performance anxiety
✅ The different types of orgasms — and how to know if you’ve had one
✅ Go-to sex positions and erogenous zones for better pleasure
✅ How to keep long-term sex and desire exciting

Take the Sexual Profile Quiz: https://www.luvbites.co/quizzes/whats-your-sexual-profile

Follow Dr. Tara on TikTok and Instagram.

Get Dr. Tara’s new book, How Do You Like It.

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Do I Have ADHD? How To Navigate The Signs +Symptoms, Regulate Emotions, and Implement Symptoms, with Shanna Pearson (Founder of the world’s #1 aDHD Coaching company)

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

What if your chaos, sensitivity, overwhelm, and anxiety aren’t personality flaws, but ADHD? ADHD in adults is often missed or misdiagnosed... especially in women. So today, we're deep-diving how to get a proper diagnosis, regulate emotions, and build ADHD-friendly systems that actually stick with expert coach Shanna Pearson.

Learning how my brain works has personally given me so much more self-compassion and self-understanding, and now I'm excited to implement practices and systems to make my life a little easier.

If you’ve ever struggled with time blindness, decision paralysis, emotional rollercoasters, or overthinking that never seems to shut off, this episode will help you navigate undiagnosed ADHD and understand your brain, so you can work with your mind — not against it.

Shanna Pearson is the founder of the world’s largest one-on-one ADHD coaching company, working with thousands of adults with ADHD every year, and the bestselling author of Invisible ADHD.

If you've ever Googled “Do I have ADHD?” this one's for you. Tune in to learn about:
✅ The science and brain chemistry behind ADHD — and how dopamine plays a role in focus and motivation
✅ The three types of ADHD and how symptoms differ across gender
✅ Why so many women are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression before discovering ADHD
✅ The truth about masking, over-functioning, and burnout in high-achieving adults
✅ Emotional regulation and our inability to compartmentalize the chaos 
✅ Navigating executive dysfunction, time blindness, and disorganization
✅ How to create ADHD-friendly systems that actually work: mood-based scheduling, one focus at a time, & action-first behaviour changes
✅ How to feed your brain’s need for dopamine in healthy, sustainable ways
✅ What to do if you suspect ADHD but don’t want medication (everyday changes that make a difference)

Follow Shannon and check out her book:

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Are You a Night Owl or Early Bird? Optimize Sleep, Energy, and Wellness Based On Your Chronotype | The Quickie

Apple Podcasts

Are you a night owl, early bird, or something in between? The key to better sleep, more energy, and improved wellness might be in understanding your chronotype — your body’s natural biological clock.

We’re diving into the science of chronotypes and how understanding yours can help you optimize your sleep schedule, energy, focus, and mood, without forcing yourself into a routine that leads to “social jet lag”. (For night owls who struggle with early mornings, this is the validating episode you deserve!)

Whether you’re a Bear, Lion, Wolf, or Dolphin (based on Dr. Michael Breus’ sleep research), your chronotype determines when you’re wired to wake up, feel alert, and perform at your best. But most of us are living out of sync with our internal clock. So how do we hack it?

It’s time to stop fighting your biology and learn how to work with your natural rhythms. Tune in to learn about:
🌙 What your chronotype says about your sleep patterns, focus, and productivity
☀️ The best time to sleep, eat, and work for each archetype (Bear, Lion, Wolf, and Dolphin)
🧠 How to optimize your circadian rhythm for better sleep and energy
⚡ How to reduce “social jet lag” and feel more aligned with your internal clock
💡 Lifestyle tips for improving sleep hygiene, light exposure, and reduced screen time

If you want to figure out how to wake up with energy, fix your sleep schedule, or get more productive during peak energy windows, this Quickie is for you.

Take the Sleep Doctor Chronotype Quiz here. 

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Heal Perfectionism, Codependence, & Emotional Outsourcing: Somatic Therapy and Polyvagal Theory 101, with Beatriz Victoria Albina

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

Are you exhausted from constantly trying to make everyone else happy, and losing yourself in the process? Today, we’re talking about breaking free from the burnout of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional outsourcing, and how to regulate your nervous system, trust yourself, and stop abandoning your own needs for the comfort of others.

We’re joined by Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP, a Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing and Breathwork Practitioner, and Master Certified Somatic Life Coach. Bea unpacks the hidden cost of emotional outsourcing™, AKA the survival habit of looking to others for validation, self-worth, and emotional regulation, instead of tuning into yourself.

We dive into polyvagal theory, recognizing when you’re in functional freeze, and using somatic tools and nervous system mapping to heal the patterns of codependency, self-abandonment, and avoidance that keep you stuck.

If you’ve ever Googled “how to stop people-pleasing,” “why do I care so much what people think,” “how to heal my nervous system,” or “how to set boundaries without guilt,” this episode is for you.

Tune in to learn about:

  • What Emotional Outsourcing really means — and why it’s a nervous system response, not a personality flaw

  • How people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependence develop from early survival patterns

  • Polyvagal theory 101: how understanding your vagus nerve can help you stop self-abandoning

  • Are you in a state of functional freeze? How to recognize and heal from it

  • Understanding social hypervigilence (and the empath paradox)

  • How to set boundaries and make decisions without guilt or second-guessing

  • Nervous system mapping and somatic tools to interrupt your automatic responses

  • How to find balance between flexibility and authenticity

  • How to stop “performing” to earn love and acceptance

  • Practical tools for reclaiming your identity, rebuilding self-trust, and honouring your own needs without fear of conflict

Follow Bea's Instagram and podcast. 

  • Buy Bea's book End Emotional Outsourcing!

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The Psychology Of Sunk Cost Fallacy: Making Better Decisions, And When To Stay Or Walk Away | The Quickie

Apple Podcasts

Have you ever stayed in a job, relationship, or situation that’s making you unhappy just because you’ve already invested so much time, money or effort into it? GIRL, SAME. And that’s on sunk cost fallacy, one of the most common (and costly) psychological biases that can keep us trapped following paths that no longer serve us.

Being able to change your mind and make better decisions is a major key to adulting, so in this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of sunk cost fallacy and how to finally stop letting past investments dictate your future decisions. I dive into how this bias impacts your career, relationships, and mindset, and the powerful mental shifts you can make to start choosing based on alignment — not avoidance.

Just because you’ve spent a long time making a mistake doesn’t mean you need to keep making it….  sometimes, cutting your losses can be an investment in your future self.

Tune in for:
🧠 The psychology behind why we stay stuck (loss aversion, identity, fear of failure, and more)
💔 How sunk cost bias shows up in relationships, career, and big life decisions
💸 How to know when to walk away vs when to stay committed

💡 3 steps to challenging these thinking patterns and attuning to what you really want
✏️ 4 powerful reflection questions to break free from sunk cost thinking
✨ Why walking away isn’t quitting — it’s evolving and growing

Whatever big decisions or questions you’re navigating, this episode will help you make smarter, more self-aware decisions so you can let go of what’s no longer working.

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Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert? How To Thrive in Work, Love & Life Without Burning Out

Apple Podcasts
Spotify Podcasts

The older I get, the more I realize that so much of our stress, burnout, disconnectedness and anxiety can be a result of living out of alignment with our nature and temperament, and a key part of that nature is our tendency towards introversion or extroversion. 

In this episode, we’re breaking down what it really means to be an introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or omnivert, and how your personality type shapes your energy, relationships, career, and overall mental health.

Whether you feel drained after social events, thrive in big groups, or swing between both worlds, this deep dive will help you understand your natural temperament, and how to honour it while still growing outside your comfort zone.

Tune in to hear about: 

✅ The science behind introversion vs extroversion (dopamine, arousal theory)

✅ How to know if you’re an introvert, extrovert, ambivert, or omnivert... and why it's a scale

✅ Myths about introverts (no, they’re not socially anxious or antisocial!) and extroverts (yes, they need downtime too!)

✅ How introverts and extroverts can thrive in the workplace without burning out

✅ Picking the right job and work environment for your temperament 

✅ Dating & relationship tips for introverts vs extroverts — and how to make different energy needs work together

✅ Self-care strategies: how introverts can recharge and how extroverts can avoid burnout

✅ Creating a "restorative niche" for introverts to return to their true self 

✅ Why extroverts crave novelty and shared experience

✅ Why you don’t need to box yourself into one label, and how to expand your window of tolerance / “social stamina”

If you’ve ever Googled things like “am I an introvert or extrovert,” “how to recharge as an introvert,” or “introvert vs extrovert relationships,” this one’s for you.

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How To Develop Your Social Biome, Nourish Your Social Life, & Make More Friends

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Loneliness isn’t just in your head… it impacts your body, mood, longevity and emotional health. There’s real science behind why we crave connection, so in today’s episode, we dive into the concept of the “social biome” (your personal ecosystem of relationships and daily interactions) and how it can transform your wellbeing. 

Founded by researchers Dr. Jeffrey Hall and Dr. Andy Merolla, the social biome is a framework for strengthening relationships and cultivating a real sense of community in a culture that’s starved of real life connection.

Whether you’re introverted, socially anxious, super busy, or just craving more genuine relationships, invest in your social fitness with these doable strategies to help you build your social biome and connections.

Tune in to learn:

  • Why connection is “social nutrition” and how to feed your social health every day.

  • The Ladder of Connection framework to move from restorative solitude to strong, meaningful friendships.

  • How small, low-stakes interactions (“weak ties”) boost your mood and help you feel less isolated.

  • Using social media and technology as a way to connect rather than compare and consume.

  • Practical tips to actually make friends as an adult, nurture existing bonds, and create a supportive community.

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Cailyn and Gillian Cailyn and Gillian

The Art of Repair: How To Reconnect After Conflict, Strengthen Communication & Stay In Love, with Relationship Expert Baya Voce

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“We’re taught how to fall in love, but not how to stay there.” So in today’s must-listen episode, I chat with renowned relationship repair expert Baya Voce, MSW, to learn the art of repair, and how to maintain love and connection through conflict.

Arguments happen (they’re an important part of relationships and individuation!) — but they don’t have to break your bond. In this powerful episode, we dive into proven tools for transforming conflict into deeper connection, and Baya’s strategies for building better communication, boundaries, and emotional safety.

If you’re in love, want love, or care about love, this is your roadmap for working towards interdependence, rebuilding trust, and creating love that lasts.

With an MSW from Columbia University, Baya specializes in couples counselling and MDMA-assisted couples therapy research, and is supervised by the incredible Esther Perel!  Her work has been featured in a TED Talk, on Vice, Forbes, MTV, and ABC, and her videos on everything from boundaries, to using AI for therapy, to navigating jealousy, have been viewed by millions.

Tune in as we explore:

💞 The three stages of lasting relationships and why many couples get stuck in Stage 2

🤝 Navigating the disillusionment phase 

🗣️ Is there such thing as healthy vs. harmful conflict?

🔄 Baya’s 4-step relationship repair framework to reconnect after a conflict

🧠 What dysregulation looks like during conflict (and how to calm your nervous system)

❤️ Rebuilding trust and emotional safety after a rupture

✋ Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship

🕵️ Curiosity as the antidote to blame and defensiveness

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Cailyn and Gillian Cailyn and Gillian

Welcome to Season 5!!! This Hack Will Reset Your Goals And Routines For A Fall Fresh Start

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Hi friends, welcome back to a new season of Teach Me How To Adult! I’m so excited to be back here with you, and for everything that’s in store for season 5. 

PS: If you like to watch your podcasts, make sure you're subscribed on Spotify and YouTube!

September always brings those back-to-school, fresh-start vibes, so we’re kicking things off with a helpful research-backed goal-setting hack that can completely transform the way you follow through with your habits, routines, and goals.

Implementation intentions — aka “if-then planning” — is a super effective (but seriously underrated) productivity and accountability strategy for building consistency, breaking all-or-nothing thinking, and making your goals actually stick.

If you’ve been struggling to follow through with your goals and get back into a consistent post-summer routine, this episode is for you.

Tune in to hear:

  • How to use “if-then” planning to stop procrastination and automate decisions

  • Why Harvard research proves implementation intentions improve goal success by up to 300%

  • Avoiding self-sabotage by planning for obstacles in advance

  • Why the ‘Fresh Start Effect’ makes September the right time to reset your habits + routines

  • The formula for “if-then” planning you can apply to yourhealth/wellness, work, and creative goals

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