Episode 210: What's the Worst That Can Happen? A Tool To Stop Catastrophizing And Get Unstuck
If an endless supply of “what ifs” are keeping you stuck in fear and inaction every time you need to make a decision or move forward, this tool could be a game-changer for you.
If an endless supply of “what ifs” are keeping you stuck in fear and inaction every time you need to make a decision or move forward, this tool could be a game-changer for you.
In today’s episode, we’re diving into the valuable advice my career coach shared last year to help stop catastrophic thinking and get to the root of what’s actually causing you worry or paralysis. Because the answer to “what’s the worst that could happen?” usually isn’t as bad as we make it out to be, and even the worst case scenarios are almost always figureoutable.
Whether you’re stuck in business decisions, dating, networking, trip-planning or big life changes, keep digging one layer deeper until you find out what’s at the core of your worries, and if that’s something you could handle.
Tune in to hear more about:
How catastrophic thinking can hold us back
What was keeping me stuck in inaction
The simple tool my career coach used to change my mindset
Examining the root of your discomfort
Weighing out the worst-case scenarios
How this way of thinking helped me invest in real estate
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 147: Teach Me How To Manage Anxiety, Challenge My Fears, And Heal The Gut-Brain Connection, with Dr. Lauren Cook
If you experience feelings of overwhelming anxiety, existential dread, panic sweats and heart palpitations… welcome to the anxious girlies club. But seriously, we’re finally learning that while occasional stress and worry is normal, if those feelings start to impact our day-to-day lives, it’s time to take a closer look at our brains and bodies.
If you experience feelings of overwhelming anxiety, existential dread, panic sweats and heart palpitations… welcome to the anxious girlies club. But seriously, we’re finally learning that while occasional stress and worry is normal, if those feelings start to impact our day-to-day lives, it’s time to take a closer look at our brains and bodies.
Millennials and Gen-Zs have been dubbed the most anxious generations in history, and it’s no surprise considering the increasingly globalized age of social media, 24/7 bad news cycles, and economic issues we face. So what can we do about it?
We called in licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Lauren Cook, to give us some easy, actionable steps to help positively navigate our anxiety, rather than ignoring or fighting against it. From identifying the impacts and triggers of anxiety to breaking down the gut-brain connection, Lauren lays out the real, evidence-backed ways to manage our chaotic minds.
Dr. Lauren Cook is a therapist, consultant, speaker, author and founder of Heartship Psychological Services. Specializing in anxiety, she helps individuals and couples work through generalized anxiety, phobias, social anxiety, OCD, and more. She has a podcast called The Boardroom Brain, and has written three books, including the forthcoming “Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World”.
You might’ve seen her on TikTok where she spreads approachable mental health advice to her hundreds of thousands of followers, or in her features on The New York Times, Forbes, NBC, and Psychology Today.
Tune in as we chat about:
What’s causing the increased rates of anxiety in Millennials and Gen-Z’s
The hidden impacts of anxiety in our relationships, jobs, and interactions
The most prevalent categories of anxiety and the rise of social anxiety
The gut-brain connection and how nutrition impacts mental health
How to cope with and communicate anxiety triggers
How to self-soothe when we’re spiralling
The best ways to show up for loved ones struggling with their mental health
Is anxiety and control to blame for our procrastination and isolation?
The importance of “empowered acceptance”
Healthy ways to challenge our fears
We hope this episode helps you manage your anxiety and work with your body and mind to feel your best.
Follow Dr. Lauren:
Pre-Order Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 42: How To Stop Overthinking Everything
If you’re an overthinker like us, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, and overanalyzing every single decision can be totally paralyzing in your day-to-day life. Overthinking can make decision-making impossible, and it can create tons of unnecessary stress that holds us back from living a life we truly want. And TBH, it’s usually all over nothing!
If you’re an overthinker like us, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, and overanalyzing every single decision can be totally paralyzing in your day-to-day life. Overthinking can make decision-making impossible, and it can create tons of unnecessary stress that holds us back from living a life we truly want. And TBH, it’s usually all over nothing!
But today can literally be the day you take control of your thoughts rather than letting your thoughts control you. Spiralling thought patterns are learned, and they can also be unlearned. The key is just to identify what’s triggering your overthinking, and then work on changing your mindset. In this week’s episode we have tons of expert and research-backed advice on how to do exactly that.
Tune in as we chat about:
The difference between ruminating vs worrying
Why learning to just act and “think less, do more” can change your life and propel you forward
Why you should carve out designated time to overthink/worry
How to rewrite the stories you are telling yourself in your head
Tricks for taking back control over your thoughts
Tips for challenging perfectionism
The 10/10/10 test for gaining perspective
How simple mindfulness practices can calm your racing mind
We hope this episode helps you take control of your thoughts! If you have tried and true tactics for stopping those overthinking spirals, we would LOVE to hear them, so DM us if there’s something else that’s worked for you!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 30: How To Recover From Burnout and Find Balance
One of the things we’ve been hearing most for the last while (outside of “unprecedented times” and “You’re on mute!”) is that our friends and families are feeling hella burnt out right now.
And even though our lives have slowed down and become more minimal in some ways this past year, there’s a lot more stress, expectation and pressure overall.
One of the things we’ve been hearing most for the last while (outside of “unprecedented times” and “You’re on mute!”) is that our friends and families are feeling hella burnt out right now.
And even though our lives have slowed down and become more minimal in some ways this past year, there’s a lot more stress, expectation and pressure overall.
95% of you that responded to our recent Instagram poll said that you’ve experienced burnout in the last few months, and 89% said you’re feeling more burnout now than you were pre-pandemic. Those are pretty startling stats, and as two people who have experienced burnout, we really want to help ya’ll identify if you’re going through it and how you can recover.
Listen along as we dive into:
What burnout really means
The signs you might be burnt out
Why we’re all feeling it more than ever
How social media can contribute to burnout
How boundaries can help you take back control of your time, energy & wellbeing
The importance of prioritizing sleep and wellness
Why you need to slow down and ask for help when you need it
Mastering your mindset and re-thinking how you measure success
How to fall in love with your life again and find joy everyday
Incorporating self-care daily, and not just on #selfcaresunday
Knowing when it’s time to say “thank you, next!” to your job
How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation Article
We hope this episode helps you prevent or recover from burnout, because you are more than your job and productivity, and you deserve a balanced life. Sending you all lots of love.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 12: How To Stress Less and Manage Your Mental Health
If you’re feeling super overwhelmed right now, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and whatever you’re feeling right now, is 100% okay to feel. We’ve been feeling pretty damn stressed and a little moodier than usual if we’re being honest, so we’re really glad we are able to share this conversation. Because the more we open about how we’re feeling, the easier it is for others to share and normalize their experiences, too.
Many of us deal with some level of stress at the best of times, but when you toss a global pandemic and quarantine into the mix, it’s safe to say that almost everyone is feeling anxious and uncertain right now in some capacity. While some of us have been able to take this time at home to slow down and re-connect with the things that matter, others are struggling with unemployment, health issues, insane workloads, financial instability, loneliness, teaching AND parenting their kids, and just general WTF-is-the-future-going-to-look-like anxiety.
So, if you’re feeling super overwhelmed right now, please know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and whatever you’re feeling right now, is 100% okay to feel. We’ve been feeling pretty damn stressed and a little moodier than usual if we’re being honest, so we’re really glad we are able to share this conversation. Because the more we open about how we’re feeling, the easier it is for others to share and normalize their experiences, too.
We recorded an episode with therapist Megan Rafuse a while back, and we’ve put together a few highlights from our interview that are super relevant and helpful for anyone who may be feeling stressed today. Her advice and exercises have really helped us navigate our own stress and anxiety during this time.
Megan is a mental health innovator who specializes in millennial wellness. She’s the owner of the Toronto-based therapy clinic, Shift Collab, which offers one-on-one therapy and mental health workshops, catering to busy, highly-driven young adults. We hope Megan’s advice will resonate and offer some coping strategies and stress relief, so carve out a little well-deserved *you* time and read on for our key takeaways.
How can you get out of a stressed, anxious mental state?
“As women, we tend to be givers,” says Megan. “We want to support everyone else and sometimes that comes at the expense of ourselves.” We’re often stuck in a state of what Megan likes to call “Should-ing on yourself” and “Must-erbating”, where you find yourself thinking, “I should have done this, I shouldn’t have done that”. To combat this, Megan suggests we start challenging our “shoulds” with “coulds”. Flip the script and try saying, “I could have done this, but I have compassion for myself now, so I’m telling myself it’s okay that I didn’t.”
Another helpful strategy that Megan recommends is to think of your emotional and mental wellness as a bank account, and be aware of how many deposits you’re putting in versus how much you’re withdrawing. Start by making a list of things that make you feel fulfilled, like painting, working out, watching Netflix, calling a friend, etc. Then take your list and rate each item on a scale of 0-10 (0 being minimal nourishment, and 10 being the most nourishment) to figure out how much emotional “money” each one can add to your emotional bank account..
The key here is to be compassionate with yourself, notes Megan. “If I’m having a really tough day, I might not have the energy to do something that’s a 9. [So] I might not go for a long run, I might do a 2 and watch netflix and order takeout. And that’s okay, because putting $2 in your emotional bank account is better than none. It’s about not shaming yourself.”
And we all know that a reasonable level of stress is inevitable. It’s a part of our everyday lives and that’s what has helped humans adapt and survive over time. But when you start feeling too overwhelmed and burnt out, Megan recommends checking in with yourself and asking: “What have I done recently to put money back into my emotional bank account?”
“Things like our daily commute, how much time we spend at work, and relationship challenges [are] stressors. And stress tends to compound, [so] we need to know what helps us deal with our stress in order for us to be able to cope with it,” says Megan.
This exercise has been so helpful that we created an emotional bank account worksheet for you to use.
You can download it HERE!
How can we avoid the stress and added pressure of social media?
We would be lying if we didn’t admit that we sometimes compare ourselves to others on social media. Especially when we’re stuck at home in quarantine, it can add to the anxiety that we’re not doing enough or being productive enough when we see what everyone else is up to. Megan refers to these thought patterns as “compare and despair”. We compare our current state to other people’s curated highlight reels on social media, and then we despair and project negative thoughts about our own lives. Megan reminds us that “Our brain doesn’t have the capacity to recognize that Suzy probably took 100 photos to get that one shot and she used a filter.” So when you’re going through the compare and despair rabbit hole, Megan recommends to pause, let yourself slow down, and to take a social media break.
How can we identify the areas of our lives that are stressing us out most, and find more balance all around?
“A good way to manage stress, and burn out as well, is to think about our life as a pie,” says Megan. Start by drawing a circle with 8 slices that represent different areas of your life, and then rate how you feel in each area out of 10.
The key is to understand that you’re not going to have a perfectly rounded pie: “I think it’s kind of bullshit that we have to expect ourselves to have a fully round pie. Nobody has one, we will never have one. And it’s awesome not to have a fully balanced pie, because there are some areas in your life that you’re investing more time and energy into than others.”
This exercise will help you identify areas that you’ve been neglecting and may need to spend more time and energy on. It also allows you to give yourself some recognition for the areas where you’re crushing it!
If you’re eager to start doing this exercise, we’ve created a life balance pie downloadable for you as well! Download it HERE !
How to support loved ones and set boundaries when you’re at capacity with your own mental health
According to Megan, stress and burnout wants us to isolate. When showing up for others becomes too overwhelming and you need to focus on yourself, she suggests tackling this straight on and having an open and honest conversation. She recommends saying: “Hey I know I’ve been bailing on our FaceTime dates [for example]. I really care about you and value our friendship, but I am really struggling. Can we put our FaceTime dates on hold, but can you keep reaching out and send me a text every once in a while?” This helps remove the guilt and avoidance that can amplify if you just ignore your plans with people.
It can also be hard to support your loved ones when you personally don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to take on any additional stress. How can you take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself first?! If you find yourself in this situation, Megan suggests total honesty by acknowledging that you’re both struggling and that neither of you have the capacity to support one other. Then, you could brainstorm who else you can both lean on for more support. Not sure how to broach that convo? She recommends saying: “I hear you, and I really care about you, but I also don’t have capacity [right now]. How can we support each other through this [in a way] that doesn’t feel like it’s going to drain us even more?”
How do you know if your problems are “bad enough” to seek help?
We’ve both been guilty of letting our problems fester for too long, or if our problems are even big enough in the first place to warrant talking to a friend or going to therapy. So when it comes to dealing with these thoughts, Megan’s advice is simple: “There is no such thing as ‘bad enough’. If you feel like you’re struggling, reach out. Start with the people that know and love you.”
We hope that our chat with Megan helps you find some ways to manage your stress and anxieties, and also helps you to know that you’re not in this alone.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
Connect with Megan here: