Episode 228: The Quickie: Why You Need Friends Who Are In Your Life Stage, And How To Navigate The Splinter Era
We’re in the splinter era of friendships (as coined by Tinx), where everyone’s suddenly in different life stages, on very different journeys.
We’re in the splinter era of friendships (as coined by Tinx), where everyone’s suddenly in different life stages, on very different journeys.
While one friend is planning their wedding, another is having her second baby, another is single AF traveling the world in the name of self-discovery, and others are going all in on their new business or corporate ladder climbing. It can feel isolating, confusing, and hard to relate to the people you were always in sync with.
Cue the old childhood Girl Scouts jingle: “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.”
It’s so valuable to have friends in different life stages who are going through different experiences, but it’s equally important to surround yourself with people who are where you are in life right now — because being the only single person in a group of married friends fucking sucks.
We tend to expect everything from one person, whether it’s a romantic partner or best friend, but we should be diversifying our needs across many people to feed different parts of ourselves. The friends we make to meet us where we are right now don’t need to be ride-or-die forever besties… there is just as much value in having friends for a season who can walk with you through the current phase you’re in.
So tune in for some real talk on friendships, where I chat about:
The repercussions of splinter era and why this is unique to our generation
The different kinds off friends you need
The value of finding our work wives, single friends, and fellow mamas
Investing in seasonal friends and deprioritizing the idea of “forever friends”
How to meet new friends that meet your needs
The Mel Robbins analogy that changed how I approach friendship
Wherever you are on your adulting journey, I hope you find good people to walk it with. You’ve got this!
Our show is produced by:
Gillian Berner, Host, Producer & Editor
Olivia Nashmi, Audio Engineer
Carolyn Schissler, Designer & Web Producer
Sara Valentine, Content Producer
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If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 202: How to Meet People in an Over-optimized world
Welcome to the first episode of our new series “I’m the problem, it’s me,” where I deep dive on the struggles and fuck-ups I’ve been facing lately, because let’s be honest, sometimes we’re the problem. And those experiences are usually our greatest teachers. Think of this as adulting confessions.
Welcome to the first episode of our new series “I’m the problem, it’s me,” where I deep dive on the struggles and fuck-ups I’ve been facing lately, because let’s be honest, sometimes we’re the problem. And those experiences are usually our greatest teachers. Think of this as adulting confessions.
And today, I’m calling bullshit on all of the complaining I do about how impossible it is to meet people, and how lonely I feel. Because the reality is, I’ve been optimizing myself out of human connection and removing all my chances for meeting new people in the name of efficiency.
Social connection should never be a “reward” we have to earn by being productive and efficient, so I’m on a mission to rewrite how I meet new people and interact with my current network.
Tune in as I unpack my problems, and the solutions I’m trying:
How apps and automated deliveries have replaced human interaction
The link between our social lives and healthspan
What we can learn from the blue zones
The plan to meet more like-minded friends
The concept of the “premium effect” in dating
Being strategic about where and how I meet people
Habit stacking tasks and creating community
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
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Episode 200: How to change your mind, navigate divorce, pivot your path and date with intention
Sometimes, you have to let go of something good to let in something great. It’s easy to feel stuck in the choices we’ve made — the job we worked hard to get, the relationship we’ve invested in, the city we chose — but life is not linear, and it’s okay to change your mind.
Sometimes, you have to let go of something good to let in something great. It’s easy to feel stuck in the choices we’ve made — the job we worked hard to get, the relationship we’ve invested in, the city we chose — but life is not linear, and it’s okay to change your mind.
In today’s juicy and vulnerable episode, we’re talking about the magic that can happen when you take the courageous, abundant path, instead of following “what we’re supposed to do.” I’m joined by Alessia Scauzillo, who is the embodiment of following your intuition, embracing the unknown, and pivoting towards the life you really want.
It can feel scary to break free from the traditional path, especially when we’re urged to keep up with the societal norms of chasing high-earning corporate careers and the marriage-house-baby trajectory, but that formula isn’t a reality for many of us, and there are so many exciting ways we can choose to live when we prioritize courage over comfort.
Alessia is the founder of A Sculpt Body, an online fitness platform and community of thousands of women. Alessia left her decade-long career in the finance world to build her fitness company after falling in love with wellness. She’s hosted over 20 sold out events with over 1,000+ women at top venues across Toronto, NYC and Miami. She’s regularly featured in media brands like Breakfast Television, We Met At Acme, and Business Insider as an expert in balanced wellness, navigating divorce and relationships, and creating your entrepreneurial dreams.
Tune in as we chat about:
What Alessia learned through her divorce and the realities of 'conscious uncoupling'
How to know when it’s time to leave... a job, a relationship, a place
Dealing with fear of regret and the unknown
Tapping into your intuition and learning to trust your gut
Dating with intention and confidence
There are still good guys out there!!!
Working out for mental clarity and living with balance
The power of your community during big transitions
How grief helped fuel Alessia's biggest life decisions
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 187: How to embrace heartache, alchemize emotions, and harness vulnerability with allie michelle
Feeling your feelings can be really hard, but it's necessary for living a full life...and we can do hard things. This episode will help us learn to alchemize our emotions and, as today’s guest so perfectly says, “find the strength it takes to be soft.”
Feeling your feelings can be really hard, but it's necessary for living a full life...and we can do hard things. This episode will help us learn to alchemize our emotions and, as today’s guest so perfectly says, “find the strength it takes to be soft.”
I called in the queen of turning pain into beauty: The wise, talented, and incredibly lovely @alliemichellel, who captures the depths of human emotion through her beautiful writing and spoken word. It can feel overwhelming to be a sensitive empath in the world today, but our sensitivity is our superpower, and our grief is just a representation of how deeply we love.
@alliemichellel is a 3x Best-selling author and spoken word artist. She's one of my favourite poets, and her new fantasy novel, Legends of Lemuria, comes out this February on @thoughtcatalog (but you can pre-order it now))! Allie runs Pen 2 Publish, a program to help writers create, publish and market their books, she co-founded a community for mental health and wellness called We Are Warriors, and she's also a certified meditation, breathwork and yoga teacher.
Tune in as we chat about:
Feeling deeply without being consumed by it
Unhealthy VS healthy empathy, and navigating life as sensitive souls
How to actively process pain and difficult emotions
Inner child work
The power of embracing heartbreak
Using fear as a positive compass VS a deterrent
Finding your voice as a storyteller
Showing up as your most raw, unmasked self
The art of really breathing
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 181: When Two Become One — Cailyn’s Retirement From Podcasting
If we’ve learned anything along our adulting journey, it’s that change is the only constant in life. And today’s episode announces a BIG change that we’ve been sitting on. Grab your tissues, pour yourself something tasty, and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster as we say farewell to one half of our dynamic duo, and welcome in a new solo era of Teach Me How To Adult.
If we’ve learned anything along our adulting journey, it’s that change is the only constant in life. And today’s episode announces a BIG change that we’ve been sitting on. Grab your tissues, pour yourself something tasty, and get ready for an emotional rollercoaster as we say farewell to one half of our dynamic duo, and welcome in a new solo era of Teach Me How To Adult.
Prepare for laughter and fave memories, biggest lessons learned, many tears, and a whole lot of nostalgia as we recap over 3 years of podcast memories together. (No, we’re not okay.)
Please join us in raising a glass to our beloved Cailyn, as she trades in her mic for a new chapter of her adulting journey and retires from her podcasting career.
Tune in as we talk about:
Why Cailyn made the tough decision to step away from the podcast
Reminiscing on Gill & Cailyn’s favourite podcast moments together
Cailyn’s biggest lessons learned over the last two seasons
Advice on going into business with your bestie
Gill’s new direction for the podcast in Season 3
This is no Call Her Daddy break-up, so we’re not saying goodbye to Cailyn — we’re saying see you later, and we can look forward to her popping in for some fun episodes in season 3. Whether you’re new here or a long time listener, we’re so grateful you’re on this journey with us, and can’t wait to share Season 3 with you this January. Same place, same time, just Gill.
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 172: Teach Me How To Quit People-Pleasing And Create Honest Relationships, with Psychotherapist Kristina Virro
As born-and-raised (but recovering!) people pleasers, we have experienced first-hand how this habit can contribute to burnout, resentment, getting taken advantage of, and appeasing people who don’t respect our boundaries. But it’s time to break the cycle, because the key to happiness and success isn’t trying to please everyone… that’s actually the key to failure.
As born-and-raised (but recovering!) people pleasers, we have experienced first-hand how this habit can contribute to burnout, resentment, getting taken advantage of, and appeasing people who don’t respect our boundaries. But it’s time to break the cycle, because the key to happiness and success isn’t trying to please everyone… that’s actually the key to failure.
So we called in the expert, Kristina Virro. Kristina is a Registered Psychotherapist and Holistic Nutritionist, who is dedicated to reducing stigma around mental health and helping people learn effective strategies to feel less stuck and more empowered. She provides psychotherapy and nutritional counselling at her wellness clinic, Fresh Insight, and she has shared her expertise with major outlets like CP24, Canadian Living, and Global News Live. You might have seen her on social media, where she’s amassed over 100,000 followers on TikTok for her no-bullshit real talk about therapy and mental health.
Tune in as we chat about:
The psychological root of people-pleasing
The red flags to look out for if you have people-pleasing tendencies
The danger of prioritizing being liked over everything
How it affects communication — especially at work
How these behaviours impact your relationships
Understanding the fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses
Getting comfortable with letting people down
Establishing honest boundaries (without being an asshole)
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 163: How Do I Maintain My Relationships When I Move Away?
It becomes increasingly tough to keep in touch as we get older (seriously, has anyone in their 30s tried to plan a group hangout recently!?) but it’s extra hard if you’ve moved away. And add a different timezone in there? Good luck.
It becomes increasingly tough to keep in touch as we get older (seriously, has anyone in their 30s tried to plan a group hangout recently!?) but it’s extra hard if you’ve moved away. And add a different timezone in there? Good luck.
But relocating is a fact of life in adulthood, and we don’t want our fears of losing touch with loved ones to hold us back from making an exciting move. So in this week’s episode of Asking For A Friend, we’re diving into all the strategies for maintaining your relationships while abroad, including the great tips we got from our followers on Instagram!
Tune in as we chat about:
How Cailyn has kept in touch, and what she wants to improve upon
Scheduling your catch-ups like non-negotiable meetings
Being thoughtful with milestones and big events (the good and bad ones)
Removing the guilt from a phone call hiatus
Communication methods for every personality type
Habit-stacking your Facetimes
The power of a friendship trip
Creating virtual experiences to share
We hope this helps you stay connected with your loved ones, no matter how far away they are. If you have any burning questions and want to get us in the hot seat, DM us and we’ll dive into them in an upcoming tell-all.
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 161: How to take accountability for your baggage, heal your triggers, and deal with other people’s shit
All of us have baggage, whether it’s from bad relationships, broken homes, friendship drama, or toxic work environments — and more often than not, these past traumas aren’t even our fault! But it’s still our job to manage how we allow these past problems to impact our relationships and experiences today.
If you’re easily triggered, quick to overreact, or constantly carrying your past into the present moment… it’s time to take accountability for your baggage. And if you’ve got more bags than Kim Kardashian, this one’s definitely for you!
All of us have baggage, whether it’s from bad relationships, broken homes, friendship drama, or toxic work environments — and more often than not, these past traumas aren’t even our fault! But it’s still our job to manage how we allow these past problems to impact our relationships and experiences today.
We’re here to help you understand what your baggage is, how it shows up, who is usually on the receiving end of it, and how you’ll manage it — all while sharing our own shit that we’re still working through.
Tune in as we dive into:
What causes the majority of our baggage
How we’re learning not to take on other people’s baggage
The way our triggers show up in relationships, work, parenting, and money
Being self-aware and responsible for healing your past
Self-regulating techniques to manage your triggers
Rewriting your narrative and reclaiming your past stories
How therapy, coaching, and open communication have helped
It really is empowering to reclaim your past, choose a new narrative for the future, and take responsibility for your own happiness. Let’s do the damn work!
PS: If you’ve been toying with the idea of launching a podcast but aren’t sure where to start or how to grow, check our consulting services at teachmehowtoadult.ca/howtopodcast!