Episode 133: The Quickie: How To Breakup Without Being An Asshole
Breakups are generally unavoidable in life, but that doesn’t mean we’re any good at them. The stressful conversation, the guilt, the division of friendships, navigating all the emotions and aftermath… it’s not a fun time. So this week, we’re taking inspiration from our girl TSwift, the breakup queen herself, and diving deep on how to call things off, in the kindest way possible.
Breakups are generally unavoidable in life, but that doesn’t mean we’re any good at them. The stressful conversation, the guilt, the division of friendships, navigating all the emotions and aftermath… it’s not a fun time. So this week, we’re taking inspiration from our girl TSwift, the breakup queen herself, and diving deep on how to call things off, in the kindest way possible.
The key to a healthy breakup (or a conscious uncoupling, a la Gwenyth) is honesty and accountability. No two relationships or breakups are the same, but the modern era of dating has seen a rise in general assholery when it comes to ghosting and ending relationships. So whether you’re trying to end a casual situationship, a long term relationship, or something in between, tune in for tips on how to lead with compassion and break up with grace.
Join us as we chat about:
The era of ghosting and dating douchebaggery
What to consider before broaching the conversation
How to be honest, without being cruel
Constructive criticism and “I” statements
Getting real with yourself about the actual reason for the breakup, and the role you played
Avoiding a prolonged breakup
Co-creating your conscious uncoupling, and setting expectations
Breakup sex?!?!
Answering the age-old debate: Can you stay friends?
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 112: Asking For A Friend: How Do I Navigate Friendships When We’re All In Different Life Stages?
As we go through our 20s and 30s, we all start adulting in different ways and at different rates, and maintaining our ride-or-die connections can start to feel complicated. Navigating these different life stages means that our friendships sometimes end up at the bottom of the list, or we start growing in different directions and losing common ground. But every friendship goes through different seasons, and change doesn’t need to be a bad thing!
Picture this: You just turned 30. One friend just bought a home, while another is traveling the world. One is starting their own business, and one is skyrocketing up the corporate ladder. Some are getting married and having babies, and some are single AF. None of us can decide on a date to catch up, and where to go for dinner. So no one told you life was gonna be this way…
As we go through our 20s and 30s, we all start adulting in different ways and at different rates, and maintaining our ride-or-die connections can start to feel complicated. Navigating these different life stages means that our friendships sometimes end up at the bottom of the list, or we start growing in different directions and losing common ground. But every friendship goes through different seasons, and change doesn’t need to be a bad thing!
This week we’re tackling two juicy Qs: How to maintain our friendships when we’re at different life stages, and how to deal with comparison when those big milestones crop up.
Join us as we chat about:
How to stop comparing and start leading with curiosity
Getting rid of timelines and expectations for where you *should* be
Navigating feelings of isolation during a big life change
Why it’s as important to be there in the good times as it is in the bad
Celebrating your friend’s wins like they’re your own
Giving your friends the space to change and grow
Finding new ways to make memories together
How to communicate and self-regulate when your friendship dynamics shift
Bringing your people along for the journey
No matter where you’re at in life, your closest friendships are worth nurturing — they’re the family we get to choose! — and we’re choosing to fight for them.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 110: How To Be More Compassionate Towards Yourself And Others
We humans are social creatures, we thrive on community and connection. But in these times of social media comparison and cancel culture, it can feel like we’ve lost sight of something vital — compassion. With mean girls dominating the news cycle, we thought this would be the perfect time to get deep and teach ourselves a lesson on the importance of compassion, how to give it to others and most importantly, how to give it to ourselves.
At its core, compassion is about putting aside judgment and making an effort to understand the struggles within ourselves and others. It helps us create meaningful connections, build healthy relationships, and develop emotional intelligence, which coincidentally all make for a well-adjusted adult! We’re all a lot more similar than we are different so let’s get positive (but not in a toxic way we promise).
We humans are social creatures, we thrive on community and connection. But in these times of social media comparison and cancel culture, it can feel like we’ve lost sight of something vital — compassion. With mean girls dominating the news cycle, we thought this would be the perfect time to get deep and teach ourselves a lesson on the importance of compassion, how to give it to others and most importantly, how to give it to ourselves.
At its core, compassion is about putting aside judgment and making an effort to understand the struggles within ourselves and others. It helps us create meaningful connections, build healthy relationships, and develop emotional intelligence, which coincidentally all make for a well-adjusted adult! We’re all a lot more similar than we are different so let’s get positive (but not in a toxic way we promise).
Tune in as we chat about:
What compassion actually means
The difference between pity, sympathy, empathy and compassion
The importance of finding similarities with others
How assuming positive intent can shift your mindset
Why we should validate someone before trying to find solutions
How to hold space for someone's pain
Using the "RAIN" method to cultivate self-compassion
Gill's favourite Loving-Kindness mediation for next-level compassion
We hope this episode helps you have more compassion for the people in your life, but most importantly, for yourself.
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 50: How To Know When It’s Time To Quit
We’ve all heard the saying “quitters never win and winners never quit”…it’s a mindset instilled in us from an early age, but is it *really* true? Spoiler alert: no, it is not. Letting something go when it’s no longer right for you isn’t a weakness or a failure. Be it a job, a relationship or even a habit, making the difficult decision to quit something can be the ultimate act of self-preservation.
We’ve all heard the saying “quitters never win and winners never quit”…it’s a mindset instilled in us from an early age, but is it *really* true? Spoiler alert: no, it is not. Letting something go when it’s no longer right for you isn’t a weakness or a failure. Be it a job, a relationship or even a habit, making the difficult decision to quit something can be the ultimate act of self-preservation.
Seriously, we’re big fans of moving on from jobs or situations that don’t serve us, and quitting has led to some of our biggest successes!
We’re living through The Great Resignation right now with North Americans quitting their jobs at record high rates, and if we’ve collectively learned anything from the last two chaotic years, it’s that our BS tolerance is at an all-time low, and we deserve to start prioritizing the things that bring us joy, growth and fulfillment. #YOLO!
So, this week we’re flipping the script on quitting and redefining success for ourselves. There’s only 24-hours in a day, let’s make sure they’re filled with the stuff that matters.
Join us as we discuss:
Redefining the narrative around quitting
Why society is entering "The Great Resignation"
How to know when it's time to quit
Our biggest lessons for letting go
What quitting can mean for your career and for creating new opportunities
Choosing yourself over toxic situations
How to quit well and leave on a high note
We hope this episode helps guide your decisions, and empowers you to find success on your own terms. You got this!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 34: How to Thrive In Long Distance Relationships
These days, long distance relationships are a reality for a lot of people who have been separated by the corona, border closures, quarantines, or the usual reasons like university and work relocations. (A quarter of you who responded to our Instagram polls said you’re in a long distance relationship right now!) And tons of couples start out distanced through apps and online dating.
So we’re diving into how to navigate long distance relationships right now, from communication and bonding tips to dealing with loneliness and insecurity, with relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip. And this isn’t just for romantic relationships! All the advice we share today really does apply to anyone in your life that you care about if you’re separated right now, so if you can’t see someone you love, give this a listen.
These days, long distance relationships are a reality for a lot of people who have been separated by the corona, border closures, quarantines, or the usual reasons like university and work relocations. (A quarter of you who responded to our Instagram polls said you’re in a long distance relationship right now!) And tons of couples start out distanced through apps and online dating.
So we’re diving into how to navigate long distance relationships right now, from communication and bonding tips to dealing with loneliness and insecurity, with relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip. And this isn’t just for romantic relationships! All the advice we share today really does apply to anyone in your life that you care about if you’re separated right now, so if you can’t see someone you love, give this a listen.
Dr. Morgan Cutlip has a PhD in counseling psychology and holds a master’s degree in Human Development and Family Sciences. For over 13 years, she’s worked at Love Thinks, a company that creates practical relationship education resources. Morgan’s passion is helping her fellow millennials find love, happiness and longevity in their relationships—without the drama. And we are HERE FOR THAT.
Tune in to hear more about:
The importance of strong communication in distance relationships
How to meet each other’s love languages when you’re apart
How to stay connected and bonded through rituals and new experiences
Dealing with loneliness, how to ask for help, and ways to self-soothe
Navigating having needs with feeling “neediness”
What to do if your efforts don’t feel reciprocated
Why we should strive for an interdependent relationship
How to give and receive relationship feedback with friends
How to overcome insecurities and doubts when you’re living two separate lives?
Tips for online dating and practicing your relationship skills
We hope this episode helps you feel closer to anyone you are apart from right now! We’re just two cheesy romantics, but to us, love always wins.
Follow Dr. Morgan:
instagram.com/mylovethinks
Drmorgancutlip.com
Mylovethinks.com
Mentioned in this episode:
New York Times article on “Languishing”: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
Marco Polo: https://www.marcopolo.me/
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
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Episode 16: How To Have a Healthy Relationship Right Now - Part 2
The course of true love never did run smooth (preach, Shakespeare!), so today we’re diving into part two of our relationship interview with couples and family therapist Liz Earnshaw.
The course of true love never did run smooth (preach, Shakespeare!), so today we’re diving into part two of our relationship interview with couples and family therapist Liz Earnshaw. If you missed part one, be sure to check out episode 13 where we dive into how couples can deal with Covid whether they’re quarantining together or doing long distance.
Today we’re talking common relationship issues, power struggles that can crop up in conflict, improving your communication skills, and how to seek or offer support when one partner is struggling with mental health. Honestly, our conversation with Liz truly improved our communication styles with our own partners, family and friends, and we can’t wait to share it with you.
Liz is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of A Better Life Therapy in Philadelphia. She helps her clients and hundreds of thousands of social media followers develop healthier relationships everyday, navigating issues like betrayal, grief, loss, and trauma, while teaching the art of communication. You also might’ve seen her on Instagram where she shares incredibly valuable relationship advice and therapy strategies on her account @lizlistens.
Check out Part 2 of our relationship deep dive for Liz’s MAJOR truth bombs on boundaries, conflict and communication!
What are the most common issues couples seek therapy for?
According to Liz, most people come in with communication issues, which usually means a thousand different things from navigating betrayal, to learning how to actually listen to legit incompatibility.
The four power struggles in conflict
Liz says there are four main power struggles that couples face in conflict and communication: “A power struggle clearly looks like a pulling back and forth. There’s somebody who’s pursuing something and another person who is pulling away.”
Power struggles can happen when...
The conflict is so scary, the distancing person is worried that if they engage, it’s going to make the relationship worse. They fear they’ll lose the connection if they “go there.” The person pursuing the connection is scared of the same things, but they fear that if they don’t talk about their issues now, they won’t be able to fix them. So while one is trying to preserve connection by preventing the conversation, the other thinks they’ll lose everything if they don’t address the problem.
When one person feels like their autonomy is being threatened, they pull back, and their partner feels threatened so they pursue connection. But the other person is pulling back because they really do want space and need time to themself. Liz says the “never go to bed angry” quote is actually the worst advice, because oftentimes the person who wants to go to bed is telling you very clearly, “this isn’t going to go anywhere good. I need space, or I'm freaked out that I'm going to explode in this conversation.” That advice perpetuates the pursuer to believe they can’t go to bed without a resolution, so they keep going. The best thing you can do in that dynamic, is to learn to take on the dynamic of the other person. So if the other person pulls away, let them take their space and allow them to come back when they are ready.
Sometimes our conflict brings up shame, and people respond differently to shame. “A fight over an overdue water bill can be stemmed from shame if it’s late because your partner’s salary was reduced,” explains Liz. When shame is at the root of the issue, it’s really important to see what’s going on and be able to offer safety within that. “Instead of criticizing, which just creates more shame, be vulnerable [and ask what’s going on]. You can still have boundaries while being gentle around that shame.”
The last conflict relates to punishment: We get into power struggles if we believe someone deserves it. “They cheated on me, so they deserve it. They had it coming to them because they hurt me.” The pursuer (the person who was hurt in this case) may believe the betrayer has no right to take space, and if it sucks for their partner, too bad: “I’m punishing you because I’m still really angry.”
How do you avoid the punishment power struggle when you’ve been hurt?
“When there’s been a betrayal in the relationship—anything outside of what you thought your relationship contract was, so not just affairs, but when someone hurts you outside of what the commitment was—the person that did the betraying may receive a lot of punishment and anger,” Liz explains. She tells people dealing with betrayal: “It’s your job right now to make amends, to listen to the pain, to apologize. These are hard things to do, but you have to do it and you have to try a lot of trust-building behaviour.”
“I often compare it to a bank account,” says Liz. “When your bank account was healthy, it didn’t matter if you took $100 out, but the betrayal took all of the money out, plus $100, and now there’s an overdraft fee. It won’t be like this forever, but for a little bit, you do have to pay the $100 back and you have to pay a $30 overdraft.”
To the person who has been hurt, Liz says, “I know you’re angry and you have every right to maintain boundaries, be angry and to request certain things. But just like the bank isn’t allowed to give 10 overdraft fees a day, you can’t do that either. Because if you do it, just like with a bank, the person will never be able to pay themselves out of the hole. So if you tell your partner [how to make things better], and then you move the goalpost again, it’s never going to work.”
Liz says to be very clear about the things that you need to recover from the betrayal. If you are going to move the “goalpost” of your expectations from your partner, you have to be clear about why they are changing and communicate your feelings, boundaries and needs fairly. “Because if you combat one betrayal with another betrayal of disrespect and contempt, then the relationship falls apart even more. And that is where couples get really stuck,” warns Liz.
How to set healthy boundaries
Liz recommends sitting down together and checking in on how things are going regularly, so you don’t have to unilaterally come up with boundaries as issues arise. “Allow yourself to be very open...you can say: It’s been going okay, but you know what’s been really hard for me? When the TV is on really loud late at night and I’m trying to get to sleep. I really need a quiet space in the bedroom.”
Talk about how you can create a win-win situation, because if you’re really working together, all of your boundaries can actually be about things that will create win-wins for both of you. “You want to state things in what we call a positive need. A positive need is saying what you do want,” Liz explains. “So when you set boundaries, say what you do want. Telling someone what you don't want isn’t usually very effective.”
Liz suggests trying an approach like, “I really want to go to sleep by 10pm” rather than “I don’t want you to leave the TV on all night.” That helps everyone understand the end goal, and it avoids starting a debate about the things that you don’t want.
We hope that you enjoyed part 2 of our convo with Liz, and that your relationships are thriving!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
Connect with Liz here:
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Episode 13: How To Have a Healthy Relationship Right Now
If you’ve got love on the brain, and you’re crazy in love, but it’s killing you softly, this one’s for you! This week we’re talking about relationships: The struggles couples are facing right now, communication strategies to help improve things, and what we’ve learned about our own relationships in quarantine!
If you’ve got love on the brain, and you’re crazy in love, but it’s killing you softly, this one’s for you! This week we’re talking about relationships: The struggles couples are facing right now, communication strategies to help improve things, and what we’ve learned about our own relationships in quarantine!
Couples are navigating totally new and unprecedented stressors in their relationships right now, whether they are stuck quarantining together 24/7, isolating far apart in a distanced relationship, dealing with parenting, or coping with financial and career stress. And it’s more important than ever to come at these new challenges as a team, to have super strong communication, and to still find ways to enjoy a fun and loving relationship together.
We called in relationship therapist Liz Earnshaw, who helps her clients and hundreds of thousands of social media followers develop healthier relationships everyday. Liz is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of A Better Life Therapy in Philadelphia. She helps couples through issues like betrayal, grief, loss, and trauma, while teaching the art of communication. You also might’ve seen her on Instagram where she shares incredibly valuable relationship advice and therapy strategies on her account @lizlistens.
Read on for Part 1 of our relationship deep dive, and tune back in for Part 2 of the episode in two weeks, where we chat about managing conflict and more communication tips! Here’s Liz’s advice for successfully navigating your relationship, so you can have a happy partnership no matter what’s going on in the world right now!
How can you maintain a healthy relationship when you’re dealing with long distance?
When it comes to long distance relationships, especially during COVID, Liz recommends three strategies that you can do as a couple to help your relationship thrive:
1. Find ways to stay ritualized with each other.
Since you may not be able to plan your next visit, what else can you depend on to keep the love going? Liz suggests creating rituals such as every Friday night at 6pm you watch a movie together virtually, or every morning you send each other a ‘Good Morning’ text. Find ways to create fun, reinforcing routines together and then be super diligent at following through with them.
2. Be responsive. “If you’re really far apart you need extra responsiveness than you would if you were together,” says Liz. “You don’t get to see the non-verbal responses, the non-verbal signals. You don’t see the person passing by your office down the hallway, and you don’t really know if they’re there.” Liz recommends finding realistic ways for you both to create as much secure attachment as you can, such as messaging each other back promptly when apart so your partner knows you’re there. And if one partner is voicing their concerns or stresses about the relationship, it helps if the other partner validates their concerns and is verbally responsive to any stress their partner may be going through. “Giving them some validity to their experience is important,” Liz says.
3. Find ways to still dream together. Even though it’s hard to plan trips and fun future activities right now, you can still find ways to dream together, Liz reminds us. “We are living in survival mode mostly right now, but the thing that makes life feel good and beautiful is being out of that...you might not know when you’re going to take that vacation, but can you still send emails back and forth about how beautiful Iceland is.”
How can couples thrive when self-isolating together 24/7?
If you’re living with your partner right now, Liz notes that a lot of the same advice still applies. Dreaming together and creating rituals is still so important, and creating time that is just relationship-time and not work-time is important, says Liz.
The biggest thing to keep in mind when you’re spending a lot of time together is how respectful you are being of one another. Liz recommends thinking about your relationship as if you were roommates: How you would want to be treated, and how would you treat your roommate? “[In] normal times you might only see each other a few hours a day, and the little quirks of leaving a sock somewhere or forgetting about the dishes is not a big deal because you’re in the house for three hours,” says Liz. “But if you’re in your house all day long with another person and you’re not showing manners towards each other, that’s going to be very problematic. It’s going to light a fuse that might be very long, but eventually will become very short.”
Another helpful tip to remember when you’re cooped up with your boo, is that responsiveness is still super important. If your partner is experiencing stress and you have too much on your plate to help them, instead of dismissing them, Liz recommends having an open and honest conversation with your partner so they know that now is not a good time, and establishing in advance what that conversation looks like so feelings aren’t hurt. Liz suggests starting a polite conversation such as, “Hey babe, when we’re both stressed can we agree that if one of us can’t hear it, this is what we’ll say…”.
How couples can use this time to reconnect and improve their relationship
Sometimes the best place to start is reconnecting with yourself first. “It’s actually much easier to be intentional about connecting when you also know the ways in which you’re going to get your own time,” says Liz. “If people don’t have their own free time then it starts to bleed into connection time.” Carving out time for you will make the time that you spend with your partner much more intentional, and intentionality can be key for quality time spent together. Pick the times that are relationship times, and give your partner all of your attention without distractions.
How can you communicate better with your partner, especially during a conflict
We’ve all heard that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but communicating effectively while in an argument is what can make or break a healthy relationship. Liz recommends learning about The Four Horsemen, a term coined by psychologist and relationship researcher, Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman has been studying couples for almost four decades, and has revolutionized the study of marriage by identifying couples who are “Masters” or “Disasters” at navigating the Four Horsemen in a relationship: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. “Once you see these things in your relationship, you really want to figure out how [you] can shift out of them,” warns Liz.
But here’s the good news: “In all of his research, he found that people can change. A couple who is using all of these things and has become a Disaster can become a Master if they replace their behaviours,” says Liz. Here’s what Liz had to say about identifying the Four Horsemen and the the antidote to each one:
Criticism: You can recognize Criticism if you or your partner take a problem and place it inside of the other person. “You can catch yourself being critical if you are using the words “always” or never,” notes Liz.
Example: You come home from work and you’re upset that there are dishes in the sink. The problem is the dishes and how the dishes are being handled, but if you’re being critical you might say to your partner, “You are always sitting on the couch when I get in the door!”
The Antidote: Liz recommends replacing Criticism with something called A Gentle Start Up. “You start the conversation gently, because the research shows that the first three minutes of a conversation determine the direction.”
Example: Instead of criticizing your partner for not doing the dishes, you can start by saying, “Babe, can we talk? When I come in at the end of the day and see dishes in the sink, it makes me feel stressed and frustrated, and I need us to come up with a solution.”
Defensiveness: You can recognize Defensiveness if you or your partner victimize yourselves, and reverse the blame on each other when you are in an argument.
Example: If you’re being defensive, your response to your partner criticizing you about the dishes might be, “Well when do you expect me to clean the dishes? I was busy all day while you were out. And when are YOU going to take your car to get fixed? You said you would do that last week!”
The Antidote: The best way to combat Defensiveness is to learn how to take responsibility for your part.
Example: Instead of finding ways to turn the argument on your partner when they have criticized you about the dishes, Liz suggests to take responsibility for the smallest part that is true. “This might look like saying, ‘You are right. The sink is a disaster’ or ‘I hear you. I know you’re tired that the house is a mess right now and you’re right I didn’t clean the dishes’. The key is owning the piece that you are responsible for.”
Stonewalling: Stonewalling occurs “when somebody gets so flooded in a conversation, and too many emotions come up for them that their body actually physically shuts down,” says Liz. When Stonewallers are hooked up to machines, they often have a heart rate that’s elevator to 110 beats per minute or more, and the body releases the same hormones as when it’s in fight or flight mode. “Their body just shuts down and they can’t access the part of their brain that allows for conversation. They can only access the part that will let them run away.”
Example: You can recognize Stonewalling in your partner if they are withdrawing from or avoiding the argument. Liz also notes that you may notice that your partner is kicking their foot nervously, or they cross their arms across their body and have a blank stare, because they are psychologically trying to soothe themselves.
The Antidote: The best way to combat Stonewalling is learning how to Self-Sooth, says Liz. Taking a moment to tell your partner, “I’m feeling very flooded. I don’t know what’s going on. I love you, I just need a break,” will allow you to come back to things when you’re in a better state to work it out constructively. “Letting the other person know that you love them and letting them know that you’re still there is an antidote to Stonewalling,” says Liz.
Contempt: The final and fourth Horsemen is the most detrimental of them all. “When there is Contempt in a relationship, it’s really a sign that the relationship is in a harmful space. It is criticism supercharged and it can verge on abuse or become abuse,” warns Liz.
Example: Liz notes that Contempt shows up when we have “superiority in our voice, condescension, belittling, and we do things that hit below the belt.” Another way to recognize contempt is by noticing your partner’s facial expressions. “It’s the only unilateral facial expression,” explains Liz, “When we have contempt we only use one side of our face...when people feel contempt they cannot hide it. It’s very powerful.”
The Antidote: You can combat Contempt by getting clear on what you’re really upset about. Is there a deep rooted betrayal or resentment that has turned into Contempt? This one requires a lot of deep work to recognize what triggers you and what you need to work on personally so that you can still treat your partner with respect. Gottman’s research also recommends combating Contempt by reminding yourself of your partner’s positive qualities and finding gratitude in them.
“[Understanding these] is a great adult hack because once you know it’s only four behaviours [that] are not going to do any good to your relationship, it’s a lot easier to pick them out,” notes Liz. If you recognize when you or your partner are showing signs of the four behaviours, you can make shifts to combat them. “Doing those little shifts can make huge differences in the way that you communicate.”
How to handle the general uncertainty of the current economy, workforce and state of the world as a team
Stressful times are either going to bring you and your partner together, or serve as the fuse that leads to what Liz calls ‘The Big Bang’. “[Couples] are going to have this amazing experience with each other, of coming together during a stressful, traumatic event. And they are going to look back at this as something that is an anchor to them [and] created really strong roots to their relationship,” says Liz. “And then there are other couples that are going to experience what I like to call ‘The Big Bang’, which is when there is a really stressful experience and your partner doesn’t respond very well, or you don’t respond well as a couple, and even though it doesn’t cause the end of the relationship in that moment, it’s kind of like The Big Bang where over time the relationship is going to go extinct. Because the pain of how something was responded to when you really needed your partner isn’t overcome.”
To avoid ‘The Big Bang’, Liz recommends creating secure attachments with your partner. Ask yourself: “How are you showing your partner that you’ve got their back and that you are their ally?”
And on the flipside, we also need to be very mindful of how we are bringing ourselves into our relationships, notes Liz. It’s important to lean on your partner in times of stress, but it’s just as important to recognize the impact that it can have on our partner over time. Liz suggests to find other outlets so that you can balance being there for your partner and also being there for yourself. Things like journaling, reading, talking to friends or speaking with a therapist are healthy ways to cope if your partner needs a break.
We hope that our convo with Liz helps you and your partner deal with whatever life throws at your relationship! Stay tuned for Part 2 with Liz two weeks from now where we dive into setting boundaries, overcoming power struggles and more!
If you have a topic you’d like us to cover or a guest you want us to interview, comment or DM us on Instagram:
Connect with Liz here: